Top 10 List

Tipsy blogging is allowed, right?!

1) I have been dealing with inept hospital billers. They billed me. We negotiated. I paid. They rebilled me at a higher rate. I called to straighten things out. They avoided my calls. DRINK!

2) My grass is dying. I have tried to revive it. Sweet talk it. Water it. But it cannot fight the heat of this most unbearable summer. Me. I said unbearable heat. Lizard Rock Girl. The heat is trying to kill all of us. HALP! Send rain.

3) The Summer of Cake produced chocolate cupcakes this week. To quote Boy: These are the best chocolate cupcakes I have ever had. ( do i need to say he has had many many cupcakes over the course of his life?!) Nephew: These cupcakes are soooo good. Me: Holy crap! ~swoon~ I have found the nirvana of recipes. Sorry, no pics. You will just have to trust me on this one.

4) For the first time in his life, Boy had to wait on me to get home when he came to visit. He was in the driveway, with the garage door open, sitting in a lawn chair, eating watermelon that he found in the garage fridge. He gave me such grief. I knew he was coming. I was at an old family friend's parent's house visiting (they had come in from out of town unexpectedly). We overestimated how long it would take Boy to arrive. We weren't home when he got here. WE WERE 5 MINUTES LATE. Bunny was obviously traumatized.

5) The government is trying my last nerve. I'll end there. Go to WONK if you need more. Eesh.

6) I have sinned. I mixed the tiny remainder of a white wine with a bit of a new red. Delicious, but if the wine snobs find out they may take away my bottle opener.

7) Best movie I have seen in awhile: Defiance. Rent it. Netflix it (that's what i did). It's about the persecution of Jews during WWII. Yet, instead of being a downer, it is an upper*. Here's a taste from the Netflix site: "Daniel Craig stars as Tuvia Bielski, one of four Jewish brothers who escape from Poland into the forests of Belarus during World War II to lead a band of resistance fighters and create a safe haven for Jewish refugees. The real-life sanctuary established by the Bielski brothers saved more than 1,000 Jews from persecution and death."

8) I am eating Red Snapper from the gulf today. BIL caught it, grilled it, and gave it to me. Man, you can't beat that.

9) I finally delivered the moonshine that has been sitting in my fridge for the last few months. Real honest to goodness moonshine. Don't ask and I won't tell.

10) The Tiny Pool is STILL NOT UP. The hottest summer in years is upon us and no pool. Yet, I have had numerous umbrelly drinks. Somehow it evens out. (but the tiny pool is going up this week. word.)





*Michael Jackson approved lingo.

Huh

I am contemplating shutting the Patti-O down. If I do, I will be happy to leave a forwarding address.

Four blogs and Facebook seem excessive.

Just something the management is placing under consideration.

I'm begging, don't push me

Calmer now. A beat-down was averted. Thankfully, I downed enough Good & Plenty licorice goodness to lull me into a summer happy-place stupor.

It takes a generous amount of pushing to get me to the edge, but once there I am all in. All in and pissed off, with Momma bear overtones. No one wants to be on the receiving end of that.

Ever tell y'all the story about Boy when he was in Civil Air Patrol? It was during a time when the officers could no longer lay a hand on the recruits for training purposes. Break them down to build them up and all. So they had to use intimidation techniques. As the story was told to me, Boy was the only recruit they couldn't break. Cool as a cucumber when everyone else quivered in their boots. When asked why, he responded, "You've never seen my mom mad."

Exactly.

I hate getting used-as-an-example mad. Incredible Hulk mad. Don't mess with my family mad. It's an emotion that rarely comes to visit, but once here, it will not be denied until justice is served.

Thank the good Lord for Good & Plenty. Maybe they should be the official candy of peace.

Back!

Will it gross you out to know that my back has been massaged sore? Kinda like honeymoon massaging without the needed after-drugs. Hehe. No, not drunk.

Still bent over. Still grunting in three languages. Wondering if I could get away with a run tomorrow. Not. Gonna Happen. But, I likes to wonder.

Did I mention the day this happened, that within two hours of the shooting hobbling pains, I thought maybe, just maybe, a 45 minute bike ride would cure me, as in loosen up those spasms? Worst bike ride in history. But I finished dadgumit. That's just how badass I am. Not to mention idiotic and deranged.

The up side today is I was able to shower without yelling and then I was able to blow dry my hair. And if you have followed me long enough here, you know I tend to think if my hair is fixed then all is well, sickness is cured, pain is defeated.

My hair is fixed, but somehow the pain didn't get the memo to skedaddle.

Boy, Girl, hope you get cake this week. If not you'll know why: spasm for the spazzy.

Happy Father's Day to all mah fathery peeps.

Only hurts when I use it

Damn. I so want drugs to untwitch the back, but I wouldn't take them even if I had them.

The problem seems muscular as after Husband massaged the area I was prone for 30ish minutes. Now, not so much. I am mostly stooped and cussin'.

It sucks, but it will pass. Hopefully in a few days. Today is better in some aspects, but worse in others. I'm calling it a wash.

Meemaw-pad is yelling for me.

~stoop stoop shuffle ~

Ouchie

I slept in today and for that I must be punished. I threw out my back. I am mostly stooped and yelping. Although, to give a FU to whatever karma is messing with me, I just awoke from an hour's nap (to those who don't know me: momma don't nap) and find I am able to sit for short bursts at my desk, thus this tiny update.

Take that back thrower-outer whatevers.

Yeah, if you couldn't tell already, I'm doing this thang drugless. The pain screws with my thought process at times, but that's just how I roll.

The meemaw-heating pad is calling my name. Gotta stoop and shuffle.

Out.

Run!

Training Blog for the November Rock and Roll Marathon has started again. This year I am walking the 1/2 with Husband. New year, new challenges.

If you're interested, go HERE to see very unflattering pics of me today as I challenge the Texas heat to bring me to mah knees.

And yes, I know those pics are awful. Just for mah peeps....

Moan

I'm exhausted, but here's a taste of the Candy Bar Cake made with Milky Ways (in the batter and on the frosting):



Best cake to date. Have mercy this sucka is good. Friends will be here tomorrow. I'll let you know what they think.

Wish you were here....

Almost there.....

Until the cake post is up, perhaps you would like a little Not a Wonk reading.

The cake is coming soon.....

Holla Revisited

Between the fence building and manhandling the mower that needs a tune-up on the front-wheel drive, I've twisted my knee. I think it's an aggravation of my marathon injury. All I know is no running until it heals. I am not taking chances. Plus, it hurts so much now that it kept me up for a night. I'd turn and whimper. Sad sack wussie girl.

On the plus side, I'm tagging along with Husband on his walks. He's quasi-training, meaning he's not training at all, but he lets me tell him how he should be training. He's agreed to walk the Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon in November and you are the first to know! Holla!

I can't wait.

Because of our medical emergency in April, being able to walk the 1/2 together takes on greater meaning. And if that weren't enough, friends and family are signing up with us. Hey, nothing is stopping you. Sign up. Walk it. Run it. We'll have beer and food and dancing afterwards!

It's the Husband Tour '09!

Even though I am walking it with Husband, I am gonna be his unofficial Sherpa and gummy bear carrier, as well as the entertainment along the course. He's gonna walk and talk and have the time of his life. TIME OF HIS LIFE! (he's reading this shaking his head. me thinks he's only walking to appease me, not so much the other way around)

I'll keep you posted through my running blog for the paper. Pics too. Cause I know how you pine for the pics.

Holla!

Good dogs all the way around....

The neighbors have had their house worked over since last winter. New windows, siding, driveway, trees trimmed, patio cover, furniture and grill. Today they are making me dinner. Fine, they are making a few neighbors dinner, and I am one of the lucky ones who will snag a brat or two.

To thank them for feeding me I am bringing Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake, cause let's face it, who doesn't like when someone cooks for them? These neighbors are worth cheesecake. They used to dog sit Percy-Boy for us. You remember Percy:



Look at that face. He was the best. Such a good dog. Anyway they loved him like their own, and that alone deserves cheesecake.

We dog-sat this weekend, and are feeling like we are almost to the point of looking. Well, Husband is already at that point, but then he doesn't clean up after the dog, so you can understand why I am holding out for a bit longer. Plus the cat is old 18 years old and very very set in her ways. She is the opposite of a Lol cat. A new dog = old cat disaster.

But I look at that face and think, soon.

Maybe after I am satiated with brats and cheesecake. (thank goodness the shelter is closed today or I'd be in trouble)

Big Day

So, I've had a very big day. Biggest news is that I finished the draft for my latest novel's synopsis. The long synopsis, the one I have put off, the chapter by chapter. 50 of them. 400 plus pages. It's a monster. And even though I wrote the book, I still get chills in the end. (shelli! not that end!) The last thing I have to do is type it up and it's ready for all those agents that will be asking for it.

Second biggie is that I interviewed for a jobby job. Haven't done that in over 25 years. I am sorely overqualified. There were two of us there. It's a community college. My interview was filled with laughing and merriment. I hope the other gal's was too. Seems like it would be a good entry into the field.

The job is part-time and temporary. Although that just means they wait to see if their grant is reinstated for the next school year. Never has been denied.

As I was interviewing they asked why I wanted the job. They could see I have worked and made much more per hour than their job paid. I told them that I love me an underdog. I love working with kids who need a hand up. I love helping those who want to help themselves,. I love cheerleading a kiddo who thinks they don't have it in them when they clearly do. I told them that this job could open a whole new adventure for me.

I said what I thought. I was honest. It was fun. Whether they thought I was a good fit remains to be seen.

Third biggie is that I perfected my Lemonade Martini. It is light and summery and goes with cake, although I haven't any cake at the moment. And speaking of cake, the next one up (next week) is Candy Bar Cake. Oh man. I think my hips just busted out of my shorts.



To end this day, I am having a meatloaf sandwich. I can't think of anything better.

Happy Trails to me.....

Reprint this....

I argued with a government lackey and lost. The blow came after my hospital bill victory, so it stung that much more. I was forced to go and get a third set of prints today, which took an hour and had the cop muttering the line, "these prints resemble someone who's dead." The guy who was ahead of me was in and out the door in less than 15 minutes.

The cop taking the prints was a new guy. I tried giving him the head's up about my iffy prints but he scoffed. "If anyone could get them, I can." Then it was my turn to scoff. I told him to prepare to eat his words. He gave me a raised eyebrow.

An hour, and a stinky sweaty shirt later, he gave me a set of prints he believes will be bumped out of the system again. He kept saying he'd never ever ever seen prints like that. Even old people have some prints, better than what I had, what the hell do you do?!

"Blog about this...."

He'd put his thumb on the machine and BOOM! accepted. You could see distinctive swirls and lines and whorls. He's put my thumb on the machine and all you could see was a smudge of smudginess. DENIED! He was frustrated and beginning to act like I was doing it on purpose. I asked him if he'd keep his gun snapped in the holster. No need to go postal on the machine, or me, dude.

I am praying that the government lackey that told me they accept the third set no matter what wasn't lying to get me off the phone. On the way out the door, with smudgy prints in hand, I told the cop that I'd see him in a month or so once his handiwork had been officially rejected. He openly winced.

DENIED!

A Billing Tale

Today, I negotiated the final hospital bill to a discounted 44%, which included deleting glaring errors on their part. Had they strapped me down, opened a vein and let half of my blood volume drain to the floor, I don't think I would be as wiped out from the ordeal as I am now. In the eyes of the hospital, you are the disfigured forest dweller who is trying to take advantage of the innocent villager offering you a life-saving, yet poisonous, apple. They have you by your ugly short hairs.

I feel victorious albeit beat to hell. I am not so naive as to think that they didn't make their margins and then some, even with my lowered bill. It is my firm belief that they never ever would have allowed the negotiation had the margin not been met by my insurance payout, and it's my guess that it was exceeded as well.

The system is broke, baby. And just from my limited experience I know how to fix it. But the fix would take away the payola, the fraud, righting the greed of so many for so long, and who will listen to me?!

Thank God there is cake. In my exhaustion from the battle, that's all I gots. Well, that and a 44% lower bill.